


Come As You Aren't

by RobinTrigue



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Comedy, Costumes, Fluff, Halloween, M/M, Open Relationships, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 09:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8439709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinTrigue/pseuds/RobinTrigue
Summary: In which wrestlers dress up as other wrestlers and suffer the dorky consequences, co-workers are terrible at socialising with one another outside of work, and schmoopsey couples wear schmoopsey couples costumes.Completely gratuitous pumpkin fluff.





	

Enzo plucked at the edges of his vest, smoothed down his black pants as he stood by the streetlamp waiting for Cass to show. He’d had to go all the way to Hot Topic to get the various parts of his costume, but at least none of them clashed with the vintage midnight black Nikes he’d been saving for the occasion. Turning this way and that, he admired the shoes ; they sure looked real as hell. He was distracted enough that he didn’t notice the clock behind him striking the hour, nor the flock of startled crows that burst into the air when it did. Nor the sudden apparition of a seven-foot man in a black hat who stood before him with his eyes rolling back in his head.

“Hey Zo.”

“ _Jesus_ Cass, give a guy a word of warnin’, will ya? You nearly gave me a freaking heart attack, I...” Enzo’s voice trailed off as he looked his friend up and down. “Cass, what the hell are ya wearing?”

Cass got a confused look on his face, spreading his arms wide to display his black cape. “’S my costume Enzo, ya said you wanted us to come as Taker and Bearer, and... oh.”

Enzo was gesturing wildly at his own top hat and black cape. “Oh? _Oh?_ Come on Cass, I _clearly_ meant I’d be the Undertaker and you’d be Paul, I shoulda thought that was obvious.”

Cass scratched his head. “Sorry Zo, I guess I wasn’t thinking.”

“Yeah, I’ll say you weren’t thinking, now we’re gonna look like a coupla cheecharoos when we show up at this party in the same outfit. Is this why you told me you were gonna be late?”

“I had to stop by the milliners, I ordered the hat special.”

“Sometimes I worry about you, big guy. You know they sell hats at Target, right? Anyway, come on; I Google Maps’d this place earlier, it’s just down the block a ways. Can’t believe I’m showing up to a party in the same outfit as my own boyfriend.”

 

The two Undertakers knocked on Daniel’s apartment door, and were greeted by Kane, who was squeezed into a shirt several times too small for him and khaki pants that fit more like jodhpurs.

“Hi guys!” he said with a grin, barely able to restrain his laughter. “Welcome to Kane and I’s Halloween party!”

He waved them inside, and then collapsed against the doorframe in a fit of giggles.

“Now, _Daniel,_ ” said Daniel Bryan in a lower-than-usual voice as he hurried towards them, bowl of candy in hand. He was wearing the Demon mask, torn-up top and pants that were so long on him they folded dragged on the ground like footie pyjamas. “Be more polite to our guests. You both look wonderful; there’s chips and dip in the next room.” He waved them towards a doorway, through which they could already see Adam Rose loitering with some Rosebuds. Adam had some very realistic-looking fake blood dripping from his vampire fangs.

“Thanks, _Demon Kane_ , it looks great,” said Enzo. He pulled a face at Cass as Daniel roared with laughter on top of Kane behind them; some couples had _no_ imagination. Cass returned his grimace.

The snack table was blocked by a pair of giant foam costumes, worn by American Alpha. Enzo groaned loudly, though still not loudly enough to be heard over the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack that seemed to be playing. Cass massaged his shoulders through the cape.

“S’alright Zo, we’ll just push past ‘em.”

“Push past ‘em? Have you ever tried to squeeze between these two, even when they aren’t swelled up like a couple of bloated sea monsters?”

Chad and Jason were indeed dressed as marine life, and enthusiastically explaining their costume choice to Chris Jericho.

“You see, _I_ wanted us to come as Jazzercisers,” Chad said, gesturing as widely as he could with his arms trapped up to the elbows in yellow foam and pink lycra.

“Which I _loved,_ ” beamed Jason.

“- But JJ had been wanting for us to dress as Spongebob and Patrick for _ages_ -”

“I feel it really suits us, you know?”

Jericho nodded, trying to look like he was more interested in their costumes than he was in how much ranch could fit on a tortilla chip.

“And so here we are now!” finished Chad, the two of them wrapping their stubby arms around the general region of each other’s shoulders proudly. “Eighties Jazzercising Spongebob and Patrick!”

“Uh-huh,” said Chris.

Cass used his height to shuffle the headband-wearing cartoon characters out of the way so he and Enzo could get at the food. They were focussed enough on filling their pumpkin-patterned paper plates that neither noticed Chris’s jaw dropping halfway to the floor.

“You. Look. _Amazing._ ”

“Thanks,” said Enzo, turning around. “What are you, some sort of gay pirate?”

But Jericho, indeed bedecked in ruffles and a fancy scarf, was staring past him and at Cass. “Can I sit on your lap?” he asked.

Cass looked him up and down, then tugged Enzo to the side. “What’re you thinking, Zo?”

Enzo reflected for a moment. “Hey, I’m Enzo Amore, how you doin, a certified G’s a G and ain’t no touchin that, but when it’s Halloween you’ve gotta get your party on a little and let the vibe get you, you know?”

Cass nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. He’s pretty s-a-w-f-t in the ring, but that don’t stop Jericho from being a fine piece of ass.”

“Why you gotta repeat everything I say?” asked Enzo. “I literally just said that. But sure, go have fun, I’ll find people to talk to out here.”

Cass gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, then let himself be dragged out of the room by Chris, who was asking “Can you do a Texan accent?” as they left earshot.

Enzo looked around. He wanted to avoid the Rosebuds if at all possible, and didn’t want to even approach Chad and JJ, who were trying to feed each other snacks as best they could since their arms couldn’t bend enough to reach their own mouths. He made his way towards the sofa with his plateful of Cheetos as the doorbell rang again.

“Bo! So glad you could make it!” Daniel was saying. “Don’t worry about your costume, lots of people didn’t dress up.”

“Of course I’m wearing a costume, it’s hardly Halloween fun to not wear one!” grinned Bo in his plain button-down and glasses. “I came as a gloomy short person!”

Across the room, costumeless Adrian Neville looked up and glared.

Enzo was still looking around the room for anyone he was friends with, when he laid eyes on perfection itself. He gasped so hard he inhaled Cheeto dust and had to spend five minutes coughing, but when he opened his eyes, it was still there. His dream come true.

Tucking his plate under the sofa, Enzo made his way over to the Heartbreak Kid who was pouting into his phone in the corner. “How you doin,” he said in his most serious and alluring tones.

Tyler Breeze looked up. “Ugh. What do you want.”

Enzo puffed up his chest, making sure his stud-ly chest hair showed through the Undertaker vest he was wearing. “You’re lookin’ awful good tonight, Breezie, awful real good, like an angel of hotness sent here to uh, be hot.” Tyler’s face softened minutely, enough for Enzo to do a little Ali shuffle of confidence. “So I’m thinking, you, me, that outfit; it’s a party, why don’t we get our celebration on a bit, how you doin?”

Tyler’s eyes flicked over Enzo a few more times than Enzo felt was _strictly_ necessary, but he finally sighed.

“Dango wouldn’t forgive me if I went all of Halloween without doing _one_ frightening and unsettling thing. Fine. You can be it.”

Enzo was blind to the insult, because Tyler looked fine as hell. Not his stupid face, Enzo saw far too much of that already, but the rest of him... He couldn’t help reaching out a shaking hand to touch the shattered hearts on the tights. It was like Shawn Michaels was right here in the room with him.

Tyler rolled his eyes and slapped his hand away. “Not _here_ , I wouldn’t be caught dead with an uggo like you in public. Come on.” Enzo followed him into the hallway.

“Now there’s gotta be some closet or spare room where we can-”

“Do you even _hear_ yourself?” asked Tyler incredulously. “Prince Pretty does not fuck in a closet like some kind of _animal._ The bathroom’s this way.”

“Prince Pretty fucks in the bathroom?” asked Enzo, confused.

“Full length mirrors,” explained Tyler, locking the door behind them. “Well? Get on with, with whatever it is you expect to do.”

“Oh _Shawn,_ ” murmured Enzo, ignoring Tyler’s face in favour of the beautiful legs in their lime-and-pink patterned tights. “Dance for me.”

“Ugh. No.”

“Please _Shawn_. I know you’re just a sexy boy.”

“No, I’m not _performing_ for you,” said Tyler, fixing his hair as reflected in the mirror as portrayed on his phone. “Even if it wasn’t be utterly degrading for me to dance in front of someone who’s never even heard of cuticle care, it would be too much stress on the vintage fabric. These are _authentic_ you know; I paid twelve thousand dollars for them on the Electronic Bay.”

Enzo staggered back, grasping for support only to have the entire shower curtain and rod fall on top of him. He fought his way out of the tangle of cloak and curtain to gape at Tyler.

“You mean, you mean those are the Heartbreak Kid’s real tights?”

“What, are you suggesting that I would show up to an occasion dressed in anything less than an impeccable costume?” asked Tyler, irritated in a fairly proud-sounding way.

“Can- can I smell them?”

“What? Why would you want to smell old tights when you could just as easily look at and admire the face of the Gorgeous One himself. It was _your_ idea that we come to this filthy bathroom in the first place.”

“Let me smell Shawn Michaels’s crotch, Tyler, this is a once-in-a-lifetime -”

Tyler reached a hand out to stop Enzo’s charge, then pulled it back with a shriek. “Amore! Is that _hair chalk?_ ”

“So what if it is?” said Enzo, picking up his Undertaker hat from where it had fallen in the tussle. “I ain’t gonna ruin my gorgeous locks just for a Halloween costume, how you doin.”

Tyler shot him a withering glare. “ _You_ aren’t even allowed to _use_ that word, your hair was ruined from the moment it grew on your _head_.”

“Hey, well at least I put some effort into my costume, didn’t just show up with my regular hair and no wig like some kinda fugazi!” Enzo bristled.

“Wig? A wig would only obscure my beauty, I am _elevating_ this costume by turning it into a work of _art!_ ”

“How dare you! Shawn Michaels is a certified G, his tights are _already_ a work of art, they’re like if Picasso and the Mona Lisa had a baby!”

Tyler scoffed, so offended he even put down his phone. “Only if the ‘G’ stands for ‘uggo,’” he said.

Enraged beyond words, Enzo leant forward and rubbed his chalk-blackened hair against Tyler’s chest. Tyler shrieked something about the delicate pH levels of his skin. There was a tussle.

 

Enzo emerged from the bathroom, furiously trying to fix his hair after the fight, tights completely unsmelled. Back on the sofa, Big Cass was nursing a beer and looking equally dishevelled. Enzo slumped down next to him.

“Struck out?” he asked.

Cass nodded. “It was weird, Zo. He kept telling me to ‘summon darkness’ and ‘do the lightning thing.’ He got kinda angry when I told him I didn’t have power to control the elements or raise the dead.”

Enzo shook his head. “Some people have the weirdest kinks,” he said.

In front of them, the masked Daniel Bryan was doing a ‘pyrotechnics show’ by flinging orange streamers into the air and shouting “I am a fire demon! Rawr!” Chad and Jason seemed thrilled by it, cheering even more loudly than Kane was.

“Cass?”

“Yeah Zo?”

“Whaddya say we head home and watch Christmas movies for the rest of the night?”

Cass grinned and ruffled Enzo’s stiff and chalky hair. “That sounds great, Enzo. And I stocked up on makeup remover so we can get all this eyeliner off our faces quick.”

Enzo smiled and hugged him tightly. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard all night,” he said. “You’re a genius, Cass, you know that right? I appreciate everything you do.”

Cass blushed a little, nuzzling his face into the top of Enzo’s head. “I know you do, ya big goof. Now come on; let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this obviously makes more sense if you’re already aware of how much Enzo irl wants to bone Shawn Michaels and Jericho irl wanted to bone Taker, but. Anyway, happy Halloween everyone!


End file.
